Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

Our sermon yesterday was about having an attitude of gratitude. I'll admit straight up that I'm not very good at that. It is a habit that I really need to develop.

So this weekend was looking like a complete and total disaster. I had a lot of work to do for the business, had a whooping sinus headache, our freezer alarm starts going off (with a freezer FULL of meat I just picked up from Angelfood ministries) and the water heater appears to be on the fritz. I'm thinking about our Pastor's words and really trying to adjust my grumbling attitude. At best I can say that I didn't complain out loud. I went to bed with a very heavy heart last night, but prayed myself to sleep. Do you think God minds when you fall asleep in the middle of a convo? I hope not.

I get up this morning and my sinuses are worse. The freezer alarm is going off and I have a desk full of bills to sort to even see the top of my desk. It could be worse I tell myself. I have a desk. I have a computer. Heck, I've got Facebook even. Pete takes Lilli to school for me. Blessing! He makes me cheese toast=yum! Blessing (so not So. Beach friendly, oh well)! I sort some more. I make a dent. I call the Sears repairman for the freezer. He can come today. Blessing! I make more headway on the paperwork. Blessing!

Then the repairman comes... (cue the music from Jaws). In my freezer (which was alarming at 20 degrees, everything is frozen, but not optimally) I have 3 eleven pound turkeys (2 really cheap from Aldi's, one free from Angelfood), steaks, 10 pounds of chicken breasts, ribs, pork chops, 2 roasts, and much more. I'm not counting the bread, veggies, popsicles, etc. So the repairman comes in, takes a look, mutters, looks in his computer, mutters some more and then proceeds to tell me stuff that sounds like the adults on Charlie Brown cartoons (wah wah wah wah wah). Basically the freezer is shot to heck. It's 7 years old (don't appliances live longer than 5 years anymore?) and will cost more to fix ($1000) than to buy a new freezer. All I can think about is, "What am I going to do with all this food?" We can't eat it all, can't afford to replace it. The food is okay at the moment, but the repairman is shocked that anything is frozen at all. The freezer could breathe its last any second. He's punching part numbers into the computer as fast as his fingers can type and then says, "hmmm.... You still have 4 months left on your service contract". "WHAT??? Huh??? So I don't have to pay the $70 service call fee?" "Um, no... you don't have to pay for the whole repair either, plus you get $250 towards food replacement cost" I think I swooned!

BLESSING!

The repairman (who is now my favorite person in the whole world) tells me I'd better get the expensive stuff into the refrig freezer fast. I'm thinking about those 3 dang turkeys that take up way too much room. So I do what any deperate woman would do. I hand one to the repairman. He was tickled. Hadn't bought a Thanksgiving turkey yet and thought his 9 year old son would be excited to see what he was bringing home. Blessing! Our neighbors next door are in a situation much like us. The dad is self employed in the construction industry and work has been slow for him. The mom just got her hours cut back. Like us (like most of us) it's not the easiest of times. So I pack up a turkey and other random frozen stuff (about 4 bags full). They are excited. Blessing!

Katelyn and I get all the important stuff transferred to the little freezer. It fits too. Blessing!

I am a very rich woman indeed. Thank you God for the real and practical application of yesterday's sermon. I needed that.

What a Week...

I've been away from the blog for a bit. It was a crazy week. One of those weeks that was busy, but I can't really tell you with what. If you're a mom, you know exactly what I mean. Maybe those of you who aren't moms know what I mean, I just can't remember not being a mom.

I've managed to get 3 knitted scarves done and made a batch of cards for Pete's business. I'll post those when it's not dark so I can get a decent picture. This week should be a little slower and I'm looking forward to staying a home a little bit. Maybe I'll get something done. If I'm really lucky, I'll manage to see the top of my desk. Do miracles still happen? Not usually when it concerns my desk.

Saw a production of the Canterbury Tales at the kids school. It was very entertaining. Will post pics of that too. I just remembered my camera batteries are dead. I have spares somewhere... Probably on my desk.

Loving the cooler weather. It feels like fall. This is a novelty as it is often in the 80's or better on Thanksgiving in Florida. The Thanksgiving bonfire will be fun this year! I hate sweating while I'm roasting my marshmellows!

I'm off to try to find camera batteries!

I've seen it all possibly. This is a cross usb stick from geekalerts.com. One question... why?

We sang a praise song today in church that has left me pondering all day. It's called Knowing You by Graham Kendrick. Here's the verse that I just can't get out of my head today:

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and known as Yours,
To Possess by faith what I could not earn,
All surpassing gift of righteousness

This is my prayer for the week. I want to be known as His. We get caught up in debates and differences in theology. But really, the bottom line is it's a giant leap of faith at it's very core. You believe by faith (and really faith alone) that you possess something that you could never, ever earn (an everlasting relationship with God). There it is. Simple really. Yet we all too often junk it up. I hate that.

It's not what we do, how we act, what we own (including a cross usb memory stick) or even a fish on our car. It's a leap of faith that many years ago, changed the world. And it should change me too.

After that leap, it's really not a hard journey. Although the day to day stuff can get rough and messy for us all-it's part of the human experience. It can really be summed up quite easily. Love God, love others.

It's what the sermon was today. In the book of John, Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me? Feed my sheep."

Because I've made that leap of faith, I do love Him. And now I walk out what it looks like daily to love others. Lord, help me to keep that focus this week.

Thank you Pastor Jeff for that reminder. I needed it.

(I usually try to stay away from religion on this blog, but this blog is me and this is who I am. I don't mind discussion, but will immediately shut down anything that gets nasty. Thanks!)

Sometimes I'm tossed about...

I'll fess up right now. Sometimes I waver in my faith. I get so caught up in unimportant details (well, they seem so important at the time). It's kind of like heading out into the ocean and picking up your feet. You become subject to the whims of the waves. Tossed to and fro. It's kind of scary being subject to such a powerful force.

But here's the thing. At any point (assuming you haven't wandered too far out)you can just put your feet down. Sure, you get pushed around a bit, but you are back in business heading the direction you want to go.

And so it goes with me spiritually. I wander a bit (but really never too far out). I analyze each and every wave and the potential it has to hurt me. So much so that I often miss the bigger picture, like a gorgeous sunset, perfect weather, beautiful shells and sea life. I need to put my spiritual feet down and stand in what I know. That even in the midst of uncertainly, He has always been faithful indeed. And when I stop looking at every little thing and look at the big picture from His perspective, it's all good. I am loved and safe and well.

This gorgeous picture was taken by my favorite 15 year old.

Oh yea, we live in FL

Every Floridian at some point in August, after preparing for a few hurricanes (or actually toughing one or two out), when the temperature is about 98 degrees with 250% humidity, we ask ourselves, "Why do we live here?"

Along about October or November when we see national news with forecasts of snow, we say, "Oh yea, this is why I live in Florida!". Truly this is my favorite time of year. The evenings and mornings are crisp (that means the 60s to us) and the days are sunny and in the 75-80 degree range. Surely this is the weather in Heaven.

Oma and Opa are in town and so we spent the day at their place with my sister, her husband and the cousins. We ate, we talked, we laughed. Some of us took a sunset walk on the beach.

We are more blessed than we deserve.

Sweet Saturday

It's been a long time since Lilli's BFF Patrick lived across the street. We still miss them. About a month ago a new family moved in right next door to us with a girl Lilli's age.

This is how they spent much of Saturday. From 10am until 6pm when I called her in, Lilli had the time of her life with sidewalk chalk, moonboots, basketball, jumprope, sidewalk chalk, popsicles and a picnic lunch.

These are the things childhood are made of.

Quick! Go here now!

Okay, I'm a first born and prone to fits of bossiness!

I have been a follower of the blog Thepioneerwoman.com for quite some time now. I enjoy her blog more than words can say. She lives about as opposite a life from me, but yet manages to make me feel like us women folk have a kinship.

Anyway, there is a group of bloggers on a Compassion International trip in the Dominican Republic. The Pioneer Woman's husband (marlboro man) and 2 daughters are on this trip. The posts have moved me to tears more than once.

Please go read the reports and be encouraged by the difference that one ministry is making, one person at a time in a real and tangible way.

When you're done, click on over to www.compassioninternational.com and pray about what you can do.

For your enjoyment...

I don't care who you like for prez, this is cute! I think she nailed it!

Kingdom Coming Download

Some thoughts on Election Eve

For me the election is over, meaning that a week ago I cast my ballot.

But on this evening before election day, I am feeling very uneasy. It's always the unknown that is the most unsettling.

If you have read even a small bit of my blog, you could probably correctly figure out how I voted. But that's not what I want to talk about.

These are interesting times we are living in. Right now. The future seems so uncertain. Optimism is low. The economy seems so bleak. There's a dark cloud hanging over this country. It's really easy to buy into the media's spin. They have an agenda. There is no unbiased media in this whole country. On either side. I think they work the people into a frenzy that wouldn't have happened in the days when there were no 24/7 news outlets.

I do believe we are in a time that our grandchildren will ask us about. The first black presidential candidate and a woman VP candidate. Historical. I feel like this nation is on the very edge of something. Depending on your politics we're on the edge of a great change or a very bad change.

We've had dark days and worry in this country before. What makes us great is that we eventually come around and get it at least mostly right. That's what I'm holding out for - the mostly right (not right wing/conservative right).

With all our problems and division, slanted media and dirty laundry this is still my country and a great one at that.

No matter the outcome tomorrow, God Bless America!

The End of an Era

The economy sucks. Yea, you heard me.

One of the casualties of this sucking economy is the taekwondo school my son has attended for 7 years. This place changed his life in a real and tangible way. It was necessary physical therapy for him. He worked hard and earned his black belt.

But it is no more. I guess people consider this type of thing a luxury when they are tightening their belts. I understand that really.

It still hurts me. Makes me sad. Makes me mad.

We are thankful for your time, love, patience and skills, SSMA.

We will miss you.

This is NOT a Flashback...

It's a production of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. No, really. It is. Yup, they used the original language but it was set in Atica, NY in the 80's. I really wanted to not like it. I didn't like the idea of tampering with a classic. But when your eldest child is performing in it, you go and try to keep an open mind.

Truth be told, I really liked it! And not just because my kid was in it. It was fun. It's a comedy anyway so why not shake things up a bit. Mine is the one with the big hair in the purple. What? Oh yea, they all have big hair don't they? Didn't we all have big hair in the 80's...

So thankful that as a homeschooler she has really great opportunities to do fun things and work with such giving and talented adults.

A Grand Success!

I've been away. Really away. So. Cal. to be exact. I had a great time at my High School reunion. I reconnected with a lot of roots. Where I hung out and lived as a teenager (hmmm... fun to look at it from the other side), and with some family that I haven't seen in years. Really. Over 20 years.

Anyway, I love my new Flip video camera and I've been playing with Windows Movie Maker. It's fun and pretty easy to figure out.

So here's a long (the full version is 45 minutes) snippet of my weekend. Hope you enjoy!

DHS only

One Week From Today...

I'll be leaving on a jet plane. I DO know when I'll be back again.

I'm going to my high school reunion. Desert High School class of 1980. There I said it out loud for the mighty Internet to hear. Home of the fighting Scorpions.

Issues...? I have a few. I have a recurring nightmare that nothing/no one will ring a bell. Nothing but crickets chirping in my brain. That I will remember absolutely nothing. If that's the case, it's going to be a very long weekend. Then there are the usual chick issues (which, btw, my husband has dealt with very well). You know, things like, "Will I have a bad hair day/week?", "Am I wearing the right outfit?", "Can I really stand to wear these shoes all day?", "How am I going to fit in a mani/pedi before we go?". Shallow, huh?

Then there's the whole take care of everything before I leave thing. Things like write a book explaining to my mom where the kids have to be and what they need to do every minute of the time I'll be gone. Medical power of attorney, insurance cards, maps to birthday parties and other kid events. Then there's packing for 5 people and the dog (he's going to a friend's house). Jeez, I'm getting tense all over again.

Could any trip possibly be worth all this? I'm not setting the bar (of expectations) too high. It is what it is. If the reunion is a bomb (for me anyway)we aren't far from Los Angeles at all. I'll be alone with my husband for 5 days straight (2 of those days will be in an airport!). I'm going to see some family I haven't seen in oh... about 25 years. Those are all great things that make this trip very worthwhile.

Maybe I'll re-read this post next Tuesday or Wednesday when I'm having a screaming hissy in my attempt to get everything taken care of.....

The Amazing Amazon Kindle

So maybe this blog is becoming one big advertisement. If so, I'm a terrible business person-no compensation for me!

If you haven't heard of the Amazon Kindle ebook, go straight to amazon.com and watch the video! If you are a reader, prepare to be in serious want.

Oh precious Kindle, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

1. Space. You can store 200 books on this thing and that doesn't even count adding in an SD card.

2. Newspapers and Magazines. For a monthly fee, you can subscribe to many newspapers (our Orlando Slantinel, oops, excuse me) is available for only $5.99/month. Much less than the home delivery price. I haven't subscribed as of yet, see above comment. I have subscribed to Readers Digest. That makes me sound old, huh? My Grandma got me hooked on those!

3. Samples. Any book you are interested in, you can download a sample (usually a couple of chapters) for free.

4. Speaking of free, how about free internet? This baby uses Sprint wireless to get you to your email, blogs, etc. Now it's only black and white and you need to use the mobile version of your email, but did you hear me say free????

5. Makes my waiting time oh so much more bearable. Let me say simply this about that. Study hall monitor. Four periods. Enough said?

Downsides? I really haven't found any yet. Maybe the price. Maybe I'm spending more on books (the most expensive book I've purchased was NY Times best seller Audition by Barbara Walters and it was only $9.99). There is plenty of free content out there. I recently uploaded about 25 classics (based on a Harvard reading list) all for free. Sweet.

Bottom line? File this under better than an Iphone. Really.

(btw, the cover doesn't come that way, I decorated it myself! Yup, I'm crafty that way...)

Wacky Wednesday

 

So maybe it is because I was a theater kid. I don't know. I still have this side of me that's wacky, funky and a little too young for my age.

I had to order Katelyn some fingerless gloves for a play she's doing. In case you're wondering, it's an 80's style Midsummer Night's Dream. (Yup, can't wait to see that one.) Anyway, I saw these while I was ordering and they jumped in my cart. Since I'm being youngish anyway, I heart them! <3 <3 <3 (For you ancients, those are not less than symbols and 3's, those are hearts!)

I think the closer my high school reunion gets, the more I'm regressing. I'm totally feeling some valley girl coming on. If you don't know what that is, your mom is probably calling you to dinner right now...

Why is wrong thinking so hard to get rid of???

I'm gonna make some wild confessions here.

Two years ago, I started a wild and wonderful journey. I started a healthful diet and exercise program. I lost a crazy 100 pounds (and still had just a few to go). I was training for a triathalon. Okay so it was less than a sprint tri, but a tri just the same! For the first month, I can honestly say I hated every minute of it. Really. Cussing under my breath every single second. I played mind tricks to push myself. "If you still think you're dying in 10 minutes, you can quit" (the first 15 minutes of any exercise always kills me) Then after a full month of exercise 5 days a week, I had a breakthrough. Something switched in my brain. I loved it. I found my inner jock. I never had an inner jock. I was in the band and drama in high school. In fact I can't remember taking a PE class. I must have... My tri goal seemed like it would happen. I wasn't going to place, or break any records, but I was going to finish and not dead last!

Then Pete's mom got sick. The whole world fell off its axis while we scrambled. The Y was not even an option. We were in survival mode and eating out of hospital vending machines. Does anyone else see the irony in the crappy, nutritionally devoid food they serve in a hospital? The fall off the wagon was long and painful.

It's been 5 months since my mother-in-law's death. We sure miss her.

Am I exercising again? Yes and no. The mental battle is worse than before. On what planet is that fair?

This morning started out poorly. Heading for a craptastic day early on. Last night I had packed my bag for the Y. I had planned to go to a water boot camp class that I really enjoy. Good thing I packed that bag, because I never would have gotten it together this morning. But the battle raged on. I felt horrible. Headache, nausea, I took a new vitamin/herbal supplement and felt jittery. Excuses? I've got a gazillion of 'em. Even though I know how good the exercise makes me feel when it's done, the battle still rages.
.
So I played the head game again. "Head toward the Y." "If you feel worse at the next light, you can head home." All the way there. Made it to the parking lot. "You have your bathing suit on, all you have to do is go relax in the pool, no pressure." The water was lovely. Perfect in fact. There's an open lane. "Maybe I'll just swim a couple of laps before class starts." I got in 20 laps and the boot camp class and it felt even better than I remembered.

I will fight another day (tomorrow is spinning class which I love dispite the spandex shorts).

Sunday, Day of Rest?

I suppose it's a matter of what you call rest. In my opinion, a day of rest is any day that I don't have the whole day scheduled to the minute.

The only thing on the agenda today was worship. Mind you, that's not a duty to be crossed off the list for me. It's a time of refreshing, a time to check in with friends that are busy during the week like me. A time to bring home a thought, idea, or spiritual lesson to be pondered, prayed over and applied to my daily life.

Now that worship is done, what will the day hold? If all goes well, my husband and I will have a productive date. We will head off to 2 grocery stores (one because it has cheap Kashi and South Beach products and one because they have great produce). After we drop off the groceries (it's good to have big kids who unload and put away!), we'll head off to my favorite (for the moment) chain restaurant - Qdoba to finish off our time together, before we both tackle the busy week to come.

I think it's so easy for couples during this stage of life (you know, the stage with kids) to be too busy to connect as much as we need to. Much like the refreshing time I get from corporate worship, I need that focused time with my husband as well. It starts my week out on the right foot, each of us knowing what the week holds for each other as we are pushed in different directions.

Is Our Health Care System Broken?

I swear I'm not going to get political on this one. Upfront I'll say that having been employed in the health care field, I am adamantly opposed to socialized medicine. I do NOT want the government making my health care decisions. I will say that I believe that is where we are rapidly heading, because people are so desperate and frustrated with the current system.

Okay, stepping off my soapbox now...

As I've mentioned before, we've spent our summer learning new and exciting medical terminology. Terms that even as a medical professional, I was not familiar with. We went in for a follow up with the neurologist today. More obscure terms and the realization that genetics are very complicated! Bottom line is that we need to see a hematologist and a geneticist. The specialists that we were referred to specifically, are so specialized that they really don't want to see your average Joe. In fact upon hearing Katelyn's initial diagnosis, their reaction was that 10 percent of the population has that and without clinical findings, it's really not that interesting. Fortunately, I understood enough to say, "ooh but we have clinical findings!" After hearing more, and with the promise of the faxed records to back my story up, they will consider hearing our case and offer an opinion.

Oh boy...

Then it was the phone call to our pediatrician to deal with all the insurance paperwork that it's going to take to be allowed to see these specialists- assuming they grant us an appointment. So even though the neurologist feels the other doctors are important, everything must be cleared by the pediatrician.

How many phone calls does it take to get an appointment? The world (mostly me) may never know... I spent 2 hours on the phone this afternoon and still don't have a single appointment. I did get a really great genetics lesson from a sweet and wonderful soul (a genetics counselor) at Dr. Wheeler's office. She said that most likely this is all much ado about nothing. Really that's what I needed to hear. It will make the waiting much more tolerable. Because waiting is as far as I can get right now.

Remember that nice bullet pointed list yesterday? Yea, the stuff I was hoping to get done... Not even close. Took care of the 2 medical appointments. That's it. Two productive days in a row? Nope, not here, not now.

Once in awhile it happens...

but just once in awhile.

I'm talking about having a day where I feel like I've actually accomplished something. Maybe even a couple of somethings. Most days feel like I've just spun my wheels all day.

There are lots of odds and ends to wrap up before Pete and I head off to the California desert in less than a month. When you are a mom, you don't get ready to leave by just packing your bag. I've got my stuff to contend with, plus the stuff of 4 others. In my younger, pre-family days, I could often put things off until the last possible nanosecond. Those days are long gone.

What did I take care of today?

-shopping for a special occasion dress for a 15 year old

-costume requirement for the above mentioned 15 year old

-marketing strategies mapped out for my husband's business

-making a table in MS Word with the help of a friend. Yay Linda!

-PSAT and PLAN tests scheduled and paid for again for the 15 year old

-MS Word reinstalled on my laptop (after massive hard drive failure)

What's left to get done tomorrow?

-bills, ick

-attack the disaster that I call my desk

-execute the maketing strategies

-rental car reservations for California

-hotel reservations for California

-homeschool reports for child #3

All this needs to get done in between finding time to exercise (oh spin class how I long to attend tomorrow), 2 children's doctor appointments, and assorted school instruction/direction.

When I type it all out, I begin to understand why on earth I can't manage to keep my eyes open past 10 p.m.